


That patch of land in the middle of Europe

by Elyssian



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Human AU, Other, The Cringe Stamp, family au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-17
Updated: 2016-09-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:35:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28131003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elyssian/pseuds/Elyssian
Summary: Germania Eldestein meets parenthood.





	That patch of land in the middle of Europe

Germania Eldestein is not a familial man.

He was 35, single (divorced, really, because arranged marriages don't last long apparently), life thoroughly filled with work and damage control for the antics of his ‘best friend’ and an overall bad conversationalist. (It was often said he was too curt. Very often.)

And yet Germania Eldestein's house somehow manages to find its vast proportions filled with _children_. Children who by right should not be here.

Roderich is, at the very least (and according to the hasty, scrawled note in the boy's hand), his.

Germania just opens the door one day and the boy is sitting on his front step, soaked, with a car speeding off in the distance. He had been, roughly gauged by Germania, 4. _  
_

Germania grunts, lets him in and crashes through his newfound fatherhood. (He tries to remember the one night stand the note mentions, and fails.)

Roderich likes music, arts and the kid next door apparently. One of the above three will sate him where food and other basic necessities do not.

Apparently, this is the signal for some unseen, bored, divine being to shrug and declare ‘ _let's add more!’_

Gilbert doesn't come as suddenly Roderich, he just fades into the house. Though fade is not very accurate; Germania is just immune to the loud, destructive antics. But eventually, the homeless street child, the same age as Roderich (now 6), realises that freeloading into the Eldestein manor is a better option compared to cardboard boxes.

At least, Gilbert can cook. It evens out his destructive ability. And he is fast friends with Roderich's friend, the Herdevary- girl? Boy? Germania cannot tell. (And apparently, the boys cannot either. Their assumptions on their gender conflicts.)

Then Zwingli from next door gets into a car accident. Parents dead, the company in bankruptcy, leaving two orphaned children. All it takes is for a passing by Germania to see the sniffling three-year-old girl and he's waving off thankful distance relatives, carrying two children into his house.

With Vash, who is oddly also the same age as Roderich and Gilbert despite being much shorter, a sense of order comes upon the younger occupants of the house. His OCD-like behaviour merges with Gilbert's displaced ‘neat-freak’ personality. (His expressed joy at the sight of Germania's framed weapons is alarming, especially when it is expanded by the said boy.) Lilli, in contrast to her brother, is very docile and soon she becomes a calming presence. (And cooks food that is not a type of wurst. Wurst is good, but not meant to be consumed three meals a day, every day.)

Germania thinks that quite truly he has had enough children, deploring to Roma Vargas (his disputable best friend), who only sports two children and yet shares his lament.

“Kids are pretty mysterious you know? I've got this neighbour from Greece who got into a fling with a younger man from Turkey and their kid is-”

The conversation trails and trails; they talk about Kirkland and her five kids (the father is oddly unmentioned, though many suspect the lady herself is the cause of the disappearance) then the Bonnefois boy who visits the Kirklands often then Herdervary and the reveal that the young cousin under his care is, in fact, a girl and then Yao Wang's barrage of siblings.

Then he goes home and Gilbert is sitting in the living room (at 1 am no less) with a basket.

“Someone left him on the front door. Says she was your ex?”

Oh, dear lord, it's another one- and a _baby_ at that.

Germania peers over to see and yes- it does look an awful lot like him with the blue eyes and blond tuft. (Compared to Roderich.)

“His name's Ludwig apparently!”

Germania can do nothing but sigh and accept the latest addition.

So Germania looks on, and now the man has an alarming five children, and as he waits with bated breath over the years, it will thankfully stay at five.


End file.
